...hello to the month from hell! Today I started classes...my last semester, woot woot! In one month from today I take my comprehensive exam in Philosophy. It is a six hour handwritten essay test...yikes! Today marks the first day of "freak-out" mode for me! Not only do I have to study hard for my test but I also have three intensive classes. Yes, I am stressed and I will be until Feb. 28th at about 3 pm. I am trying not to work a lot this next month, which is VERY hard for me to do. I am just trying to take it a day at a time and stay sane. Good thing I have two awesome friends to hold me accountable and keep me from going crazy! Speaking of those two friends, I should mention that this past Christmas break was seriously the BEST break ever because of them. They are what makes it hard for me to say goodbye to my break and actually start back with my rigorous schedule of work, school, work, school, etc. But, hey, I have got to learn boundaries so now is the perfect time to start implementing some!
So, as I reflect on my Christmas break (a whole month and a half), I am completely and utterly overjoyed and blessed beyond words. The highlight of my break was for sure my trip with a friend to Ouray, CO for some hardcore ice climbing!
However, I cannot say enough about a family which I have adopted...wait, no, I mean a family that has adopted me! Ever since a friend re-appeared in my life about two months ago, her family has been nothing short of totally amazing to me! I spend more time at their house then I do at my own because I seriously feel so safe and comfortable there. I even spent four nights over there chatting the night away while my friend was gone for 10 days on a trip...yes that is how much I like them! I cannot remember the last time I felt so loved and cared about...they refuse to have me come over and not eat, they treat me like one of their own daughters, my friend's mom and I have had some long, deep discussions about everything and anything! I cannot tell you enough about them; there are just not any words to explain the joy and gratitude I feel. I wish there was something I could do or say to truly show my appreciation. To give you an idea...I feel the presence of the Lord while with them and in their house...what an amazing family! I wish I could only tell them how much they mean to me! I love them all soooooooo much!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Little Steps
All the signs were telling me to move
But I was scared and I could not choose
Every day I felt the pain from fighting you
In the dark I could see parts were clearing
So I shut my mouth to help my hearing
I'm still not brave but I can feel your peace is nearing
With little steps.
Little tries
Until I get it right
Eventually I'm where I need to be
In your perfect time
Sometimes the distance isn't far
But we need time and space before we move on
I haven't hit the mark but it's a place to start
And you're so patient as you wait for me
To find my way and follow your lead
Still I'm learning how to trust what I can't see
With little steps.
Little tries
Until I get it right
Eventually I'm where I need to be
In your perfect time
Little tries
Until I get it right
Eventually I'm where I need to be
In your perfect time
A little faith can go a long, long way
When calming the storm or moving the mountain
If you can hear the little prayers I pray
Then turn me around to face you again
With little steps.
Little tries
Until I get it right
Eventually I'm where I need to be
In your perfect time
Little tries
Until I get it right
Eventually I'm where I need to be
In your perfect time
There's Gotta Be Somebody
This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing.
I'll know it by the feeling.
The moment when we're meeting
Will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holdin’ my breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with
'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There's gotta be somebody for me like that.
'Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There's gotta be somebody for me out there.
You can't give up!
When you're lookin' for a diamond in the rough
Because you never know when it shows up
Make sure you're holdin' on
‘Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on
‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There has gotta be somebody for me
Nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there.
Nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There has gotta be somebody for me out there.
--Nickelback
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Startin' the year off with a bang!!!
About two months ago I was rock climbing at the Garden with some friends when the topic of ice climbing in Ouray, Colorado came up. My friends mentioned that they were going to the Ice Climbing Festival in January and had rented a townhouse. I had never ice climbed before and was actually quite scared of it…it just looks so much more intense than rock climbing does! Anyhow, as soon as one mentioned that there were extra spots in the townhouse, I immediately said, “Yes, I’m in.” My friends were taken back that I agreed so quickly without putting much thought into it, especially since I am not much of a traveler…I’m a home-body! Weeks went by and I thought more and more about the trip and decided that I would drive myself since I was not sure when I would be leaving for Ouray and then leaving to come back. I also wanted to be in control! Well, let’s just say that God had other plans!
My friend Gina and I decided to try this sport called “ice climbing” and I needed the practice before I left for Ouray. A couple weeks before my trip, we headed over to Helen Hunt Falls with some co-workers who taught us the basics of ice climbing. We had a blast and could not wait to get back. So, we went back again, but this time ALONE! Just us two chicks, well and T, so us three chicks! We looked hardcore…even the firefighters who were there climbing were in awe…heck yes! After these two experiences, I thought I was surely ready for Ouray!
The weekend before I left for Ouray I felt this leading if you will. I knew that Gina really would have loved to come to Ouray…she mentioned many times that weekend how jealous she was of me! I would have loved for her to come, but she was working and I was scared…you know I wanted to drive myself only! But, something kept telling me to invite her along—something I could not ignore. I doubted that she could get off and actually make it work, but I gave in and asked her to come. Somehow everything fell into place…she got off work and was free for the weekend! I was excited and scared! Haha…I even told her that I would still drive myself and she could get a ride down there with my other friends! But, that did not happen. I felt this call to bring her with me and to drive her there and back, because something told me that we both needed this time together…a 10 hour total car ride.
So, with my car packed up with all our gear and food, we headed for Ouray the evening of January 8th. The five hour drive provided us with beautiful scenery and awesome conversations about our goals, dreams, fears, families, friends, pasts, and faiths. Gina is a talker and I like to listen so there was never a dull moment…okay, okay, yes I can talk too! Some of our conversations were deep and emotional, some were funny and shallow, but I’m pretty sure that when we arrived in Ouray, Gina thought moving to Colorado Springs was like moving to another planet! Ha!
When we arrived we were stoked to find an empty townhouse—no one else would arrive for another couple of hours. We just hung out, watched the football game, drank gin (not me), wished we had tonic water (not me), and took pictures. Finally when everyone arrived at midnight, it was bedtime. Gina and I reserved the two couches…no sleeping on the floor for us!
Friday morning had finally come and I don’t think many of us slept all that well...we were too excited to get on the ice! Here are some pics below of our day on the ice. I now know why they call it an “ice park.” The whole park is in a canyon that you must repel into and climb out of. There is a river at the bottom of the canyon which can make it tough to navigate once in the canyon. The canyon walls are full of ice, and let me tell you, it is so BEAUTIFUL! I love the patterns and structures that ice makes! Also, you must know how hardcore Gina and I are…once all the guys had set up five top-roped climbs and everyone made it safely down into the canyon, everyone was just standing around looking at the ice. Not Gina and I! I crossed the river, grabbed the rope, tied a figure eight, tied into the rope and was ready to climb. Gina got her belay set up and I was off. I’m pretty sure that Gina and I had both climbed a route before anyone else made it up to the top. (Later on that night, a guy that was climbing with our group told us that he found our brashness and willingness to go first “attractive.” LOL) We each climbed five times and were exhausted by the end but had just had the time of our lives and had done one of the coolest things each of us has ever done! P.S. it snowed ALL day Friday!
Friday night we went to the firehouse for $15 all you can eat enchiladas and all you can drink New Belgium beer…yummy. There was also a silent auction and all the vendors were there showing off their gear. It was so much fun to be surrounded by so many climbers…everyone was so friendly! I mean Gina and I even got asked to go to the hot springs, go to the brewery, and then stay the night at the “guys” place…LOL…Gina attracts lots of attention! After dinner and beer, we ended up at the Ouray Brewery where we would not have to pay for any of our drinks…we were like 2 of 5 girls in the place with like 20 guys! I decided that I love ice climbing mainly because girls are the minority so when we show up somewhere people take notice and treat us like royalty! The night was fun, not too out of control, although it definitely could have been, but you all know that I am not like that.
Saturday morning I woke up so sore! Stomach sore, legs sore, arms sore, hands sore, just all sore! We decided not to climb due to time constraints. Nevertheless, we headed over to the park to watch some of the competitions, which was unreal! Also, the sun was out so the views were AMAZING…absolutely breathtaking! Imagine what Gina thought, being from Pennsylvania! It was an honor to be able to show off to a PA girl what a beautiful state we live in…truly God’s country!
Around noon on Saturday we headed back to the Springs, which meant five more hours of conversations! The conversations were lighter on the way back and mostly Gina was just freaking out cause I was driving fast! She was scared with every shady curve! But, we made it safe and sound and I continued to reassure her that I have grown up driving on these roads and I knew what I was doing! Oh and the drive back was spectacular. Because we drove during daylight, we could see everything! We even attempted to find and name the 14ers we were passing. So so so beautiful…praise God!
All in all, it was a short trip but one that I will remember for the rest of my life! I am so thankful that Gina was able to come…I would not have wanted it any other way! I’m glad I responded to the call!
My friend Gina and I decided to try this sport called “ice climbing” and I needed the practice before I left for Ouray. A couple weeks before my trip, we headed over to Helen Hunt Falls with some co-workers who taught us the basics of ice climbing. We had a blast and could not wait to get back. So, we went back again, but this time ALONE! Just us two chicks, well and T, so us three chicks! We looked hardcore…even the firefighters who were there climbing were in awe…heck yes! After these two experiences, I thought I was surely ready for Ouray!
The weekend before I left for Ouray I felt this leading if you will. I knew that Gina really would have loved to come to Ouray…she mentioned many times that weekend how jealous she was of me! I would have loved for her to come, but she was working and I was scared…you know I wanted to drive myself only! But, something kept telling me to invite her along—something I could not ignore. I doubted that she could get off and actually make it work, but I gave in and asked her to come. Somehow everything fell into place…she got off work and was free for the weekend! I was excited and scared! Haha…I even told her that I would still drive myself and she could get a ride down there with my other friends! But, that did not happen. I felt this call to bring her with me and to drive her there and back, because something told me that we both needed this time together…a 10 hour total car ride.
So, with my car packed up with all our gear and food, we headed for Ouray the evening of January 8th. The five hour drive provided us with beautiful scenery and awesome conversations about our goals, dreams, fears, families, friends, pasts, and faiths. Gina is a talker and I like to listen so there was never a dull moment…okay, okay, yes I can talk too! Some of our conversations were deep and emotional, some were funny and shallow, but I’m pretty sure that when we arrived in Ouray, Gina thought moving to Colorado Springs was like moving to another planet! Ha!
When we arrived we were stoked to find an empty townhouse—no one else would arrive for another couple of hours. We just hung out, watched the football game, drank gin (not me), wished we had tonic water (not me), and took pictures. Finally when everyone arrived at midnight, it was bedtime. Gina and I reserved the two couches…no sleeping on the floor for us!
Friday morning had finally come and I don’t think many of us slept all that well...we were too excited to get on the ice! Here are some pics below of our day on the ice. I now know why they call it an “ice park.” The whole park is in a canyon that you must repel into and climb out of. There is a river at the bottom of the canyon which can make it tough to navigate once in the canyon. The canyon walls are full of ice, and let me tell you, it is so BEAUTIFUL! I love the patterns and structures that ice makes! Also, you must know how hardcore Gina and I are…once all the guys had set up five top-roped climbs and everyone made it safely down into the canyon, everyone was just standing around looking at the ice. Not Gina and I! I crossed the river, grabbed the rope, tied a figure eight, tied into the rope and was ready to climb. Gina got her belay set up and I was off. I’m pretty sure that Gina and I had both climbed a route before anyone else made it up to the top. (Later on that night, a guy that was climbing with our group told us that he found our brashness and willingness to go first “attractive.” LOL) We each climbed five times and were exhausted by the end but had just had the time of our lives and had done one of the coolest things each of us has ever done! P.S. it snowed ALL day Friday!
Friday night we went to the firehouse for $15 all you can eat enchiladas and all you can drink New Belgium beer…yummy. There was also a silent auction and all the vendors were there showing off their gear. It was so much fun to be surrounded by so many climbers…everyone was so friendly! I mean Gina and I even got asked to go to the hot springs, go to the brewery, and then stay the night at the “guys” place…LOL…Gina attracts lots of attention! After dinner and beer, we ended up at the Ouray Brewery where we would not have to pay for any of our drinks…we were like 2 of 5 girls in the place with like 20 guys! I decided that I love ice climbing mainly because girls are the minority so when we show up somewhere people take notice and treat us like royalty! The night was fun, not too out of control, although it definitely could have been, but you all know that I am not like that.
Saturday morning I woke up so sore! Stomach sore, legs sore, arms sore, hands sore, just all sore! We decided not to climb due to time constraints. Nevertheless, we headed over to the park to watch some of the competitions, which was unreal! Also, the sun was out so the views were AMAZING…absolutely breathtaking! Imagine what Gina thought, being from Pennsylvania! It was an honor to be able to show off to a PA girl what a beautiful state we live in…truly God’s country!
Around noon on Saturday we headed back to the Springs, which meant five more hours of conversations! The conversations were lighter on the way back and mostly Gina was just freaking out cause I was driving fast! She was scared with every shady curve! But, we made it safe and sound and I continued to reassure her that I have grown up driving on these roads and I knew what I was doing! Oh and the drive back was spectacular. Because we drove during daylight, we could see everything! We even attempted to find and name the 14ers we were passing. So so so beautiful…praise God!
All in all, it was a short trip but one that I will remember for the rest of my life! I am so thankful that Gina was able to come…I would not have wanted it any other way! I’m glad I responded to the call!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Never Be the Same
I don't know the ways that you're hurting
Where you've walked and what you have been through
But there is someone who is no stranger
To the pains of being labeled a fool
Try to run and you'll never escape him
Try to fight but you will soon give in
Try to hide but He will never leave you
You are loved and you will never be the same again
We have our stories we have our failures
We have our fears and our endless regrets
But He will take them turn them into
Thankfulness for all He forgets
Try to run and you'll never escape him
Try to fight but you will soon give in
Try to hide but He will never leave you
You are loved and you will never be the same again
The real thing is hard to find
But you can rest and have piece of mind
Where you've walked and what you have been through
But there is someone who is no stranger
To the pains of being labeled a fool
Try to run and you'll never escape him
Try to fight but you will soon give in
Try to hide but He will never leave you
You are loved and you will never be the same again
We have our stories we have our failures
We have our fears and our endless regrets
But He will take them turn them into
Thankfulness for all He forgets
Try to run and you'll never escape him
Try to fight but you will soon give in
Try to hide but He will never leave you
You are loved and you will never be the same again
The real thing is hard to find
But you can rest and have piece of mind
Thursday, January 1, 2009
2008 in review!
As I reflect on the year 2008 I am filled with joy. Although it was tough at times, God was so good to me. I am thankful for all the opportunities I had this past year and the AMAZING people that made life so enjoyable. Despite school and work dominating 2008, here are some of the highlights of 2008:
Life was boring until May so I will skip the spring.
In May, I rode 53 miles on my road bike in the Elephant Rock Ride. I am not sure how I did it!
On May 6, my friend Shannon gave birth to her first child: Egan Koenig. I was at the hospital all night waiting for little Egan to arrive. This was such an awesome experience for me! I was sitting right outside of the delivery room when Egan first cried! 
Also in May I got my nose pierced and I LOVE it!
Summer:
By far the highlight of my summer was my trip to Chicago to visit Hannah and Landon and then my trip to Valpo, IN for the Braham wedding. It was a short trip but a HUGE confidence builder for me! I am so blessed to have both the McBrayers and Brahams in my life!
My big purchase of 2008 was a NEW mountain bike! A friend from work built me a sweet bike and I spent all summer and fall riding it. So much fun!
Fall:
Brandy and I started doing therapy work at the Life Care Center in Littleton, CO. About once a week we would visit this nursing home simply to uplift spirits. Brandy loves people so much and it is fulfilling to see the smiles on these people’s faces when she walks into their rooms.
In September my brother moved to North Dakota to work on oil rigs. This was HUGE for him! He really needed to get out of Monument and grow up a bit. As I sit here and write this he is doing very well and making lots of money!
Also in September one of my high school friend’s moms passed away from a brain tumor at the young age of 52. She had touched so many lives and she is dearly missed! I continue to pray for her husband and three children that have many unanswered questions.
In November my car got broken into and my purse was stolen…boo! It was such a hassle to cancel all my bank accounts, contact the credit bureaus, and get a new DL. What a pain!
November and December…WOW! I cannot say enough about these past two months and only because two people unexpectedly came into my life! Allow me to introduce you to two people who have very quickly become such good friends:
-Gina was hired at REI at the end of October and she has since become my best friend at REI. She is from Pennsylvania and came out to CO to intern with the Olympic Training Center. She has her MA in Sports Management and dreams of working with the Olympic movement. She is also quite the runner…D3 National Champion in the 1500 her junior year of college. She is now focusing on trail running and is currently sponsored by Inov8.
She considers herself a Catholic. We have had many spiritual conversations and she has agreed to come to church with me sometime. I pray for her daily!
Okay, so if you don’t know Gina, I must say that with her there is never a dull moment. I have never had so much fun hanging out with someone in my life! She entertains me…which is good since work can be sooooooooo boring! This is one awesome girl who means a ton to me!
-Tjasha and I met and worked at Ted’s Montana Grill together way back in 2006. We were friends back then although she was intimidated by me…WHAT? Am I intimidating??? After 2006, life took us in different directions. I started at Famous Daves and she no longer worked at Ted’s. Although she and I were both in the Springs, our paths never crossed. However, we stayed in contact (kinda…but not really) via facebook through 07 and 08. Then in November of 08, for some unknown reason, we reconnected on facebook chat. She has since become one of my best friends! Also, reconnecting with her has brought me back to God. This past fall semester I felt so sick of church (so I never went) and so complacent. God was missing me and I was missing Him! I don’t know how but my friendship with Tjasha has brought me back to God. My spiritual life is healthier right now then it has been in the past six months…praise the Lord!
All in all, these past two months have made me regret being absent from her life for almost two years. She has been through A LOT and I feel so bad that I could not have been there for her! But, hey, I am here now and I ain’t going anywhere! Love her so much!
Sadly, I do not have one pic of Tjasha and I...don't worry that will all change tomorrow.
Having both G and T in my life, as well as my other friends, have made me realize how blessed I am! So, I leave 2008 on such a high note feeling so loved and blessed! Also I say good-bye to 2008 remembering how far the Lord has brought me and how much I have grown! I am excited for this New Year…excited to see what the Lord has in store for me! However, I am also very very very scared. I will finish my MA this year and have not a clue what is next. I also hope to move out of my parent’s house this year…this freaks me out! So I go into 2009 with hope and fear!
Life was boring until May so I will skip the spring.
In May, I rode 53 miles on my road bike in the Elephant Rock Ride. I am not sure how I did it!
On May 6, my friend Shannon gave birth to her first child: Egan Koenig. I was at the hospital all night waiting for little Egan to arrive. This was such an awesome experience for me! I was sitting right outside of the delivery room when Egan first cried! Also in May I got my nose pierced and I LOVE it!
Summer:
By far the highlight of my summer was my trip to Chicago to visit Hannah and Landon and then my trip to Valpo, IN for the Braham wedding. It was a short trip but a HUGE confidence builder for me! I am so blessed to have both the McBrayers and Brahams in my life!
My big purchase of 2008 was a NEW mountain bike! A friend from work built me a sweet bike and I spent all summer and fall riding it. So much fun!Fall:
Brandy and I started doing therapy work at the Life Care Center in Littleton, CO. About once a week we would visit this nursing home simply to uplift spirits. Brandy loves people so much and it is fulfilling to see the smiles on these people’s faces when she walks into their rooms.
In September my brother moved to North Dakota to work on oil rigs. This was HUGE for him! He really needed to get out of Monument and grow up a bit. As I sit here and write this he is doing very well and making lots of money!
Also in September one of my high school friend’s moms passed away from a brain tumor at the young age of 52. She had touched so many lives and she is dearly missed! I continue to pray for her husband and three children that have many unanswered questions.
In November my car got broken into and my purse was stolen…boo! It was such a hassle to cancel all my bank accounts, contact the credit bureaus, and get a new DL. What a pain!
November and December…WOW! I cannot say enough about these past two months and only because two people unexpectedly came into my life! Allow me to introduce you to two people who have very quickly become such good friends:
-Gina was hired at REI at the end of October and she has since become my best friend at REI. She is from Pennsylvania and came out to CO to intern with the Olympic Training Center. She has her MA in Sports Management and dreams of working with the Olympic movement. She is also quite the runner…D3 National Champion in the 1500 her junior year of college. She is now focusing on trail running and is currently sponsored by Inov8.
She considers herself a Catholic. We have had many spiritual conversations and she has agreed to come to church with me sometime. I pray for her daily!
Okay, so if you don’t know Gina, I must say that with her there is never a dull moment. I have never had so much fun hanging out with someone in my life! She entertains me…which is good since work can be sooooooooo boring! This is one awesome girl who means a ton to me!
-Tjasha and I met and worked at Ted’s Montana Grill together way back in 2006. We were friends back then although she was intimidated by me…WHAT? Am I intimidating??? After 2006, life took us in different directions. I started at Famous Daves and she no longer worked at Ted’s. Although she and I were both in the Springs, our paths never crossed. However, we stayed in contact (kinda…but not really) via facebook through 07 and 08. Then in November of 08, for some unknown reason, we reconnected on facebook chat. She has since become one of my best friends! Also, reconnecting with her has brought me back to God. This past fall semester I felt so sick of church (so I never went) and so complacent. God was missing me and I was missing Him! I don’t know how but my friendship with Tjasha has brought me back to God. My spiritual life is healthier right now then it has been in the past six months…praise the Lord!
All in all, these past two months have made me regret being absent from her life for almost two years. She has been through A LOT and I feel so bad that I could not have been there for her! But, hey, I am here now and I ain’t going anywhere! Love her so much!
Sadly, I do not have one pic of Tjasha and I...don't worry that will all change tomorrow.
Having both G and T in my life, as well as my other friends, have made me realize how blessed I am! So, I leave 2008 on such a high note feeling so loved and blessed! Also I say good-bye to 2008 remembering how far the Lord has brought me and how much I have grown! I am excited for this New Year…excited to see what the Lord has in store for me! However, I am also very very very scared. I will finish my MA this year and have not a clue what is next. I also hope to move out of my parent’s house this year…this freaks me out! So I go into 2009 with hope and fear!
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