This is scary...

http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2009-09-18-ramadan-christians_N.htm

Things I'm loving lately... (copying Hannah)

1. Riding my bike! I have had a blast on this thing over the past few months! I just love the aggressiveness and risk involved in the sport!

2. Losing weight but being healthy! Over the past two months, I have lost about 13 lbs. due to moving out (not having all the junk food around) and bike riding. I have dropped two jeans sizes and am having to buy some new clothes to fit! I have received a lot of comments from people noticing the weight loss, especially in my face. The other day I looked at my Driver's License picture, and, um yeah...I have totally lost weight in the face! I love it!


3. Fall weather leaves changing! This week we got out first snow as it dropped below freezing! I loved pulling out my sweaters and down jackets. Fall is by far my favorite season of the year...so pretty!

4. Starbucks Verona Coffee! One of my friends just happens to be the store manager at a Starbucks here in town and she gives me FREE coffee. I also managed to find a coffee maker at my parent's house that they do not use. Nothing like waking up to the smell of good coffee!

5. Community/meaningful friendships

The girls below are all in my amazing Bible study. We went downtown for a "girls night" and had a blast! Funny story...This night I ran into a girl who I have ridden with a few times. She works for SRM (http://www.srm.de/), which is HUGE is the world of biking. They make training systems that cost thousands of dollars for pro cyclists. Well, this girl that I ran into...her boss happened to be with her. His name is Uli and he is the founder and designer of SRM. Basically, he is loaded! I sat and chatted with them for a little while and headed back to my table. In the meantime, the girl that I knew and her boss left. We then asked our server for our bill...thinking it would be around $90 and he told us that it had been taken care of! Uli had paid for our whole bill! It was crazy!

Can't forget my community at REI! This is a pic from sushi night!
6. Brandy! She is a great apartment dog...I couldn't have asked for a better dog!

And, look, she is even making friends!

7. My apartment! Gosh, why didn't I move out earlier? I just love, love, love my living situation and I love even more having friends over and serving them dinner! Yes, I am a terrible cook, but I try really hard and they always tell me that it is amazing just to make me feel better!

8. BEING SINGLE!!! There, I said it!

P.S. I have a date with a friend on Friday so stay posted for details!

On community and solitude...

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
-Maya Angelou

Over the past month I have really seen the power of community and not just the power of having one community, but many. On the other hand, I have seen the power of silence and solitude as everyday I come home to my empty house...all alone. I think it is this balance between community and solitude that keeps us most healthy.

Sometimes grace and forgiveness come when you least expect it. On Monday I was surprised...surprised by the grace and forgiveness of a friend. God is good!

Meet Scott...

Gosh, isn't he pretty???

Someday...

I think it's finally lifting
This fog I've been living under
And I think it's finally changing
The storm that's torn me asunder
And I think I feel you moving, think I sense you listening to me
And I think I'm gonna breathe, how long my breathe I've been holding in

Someday the sun's gonna come out for good
Someday hope will finally take it's form
Someday love is gonna do what it should
And someday life will be all that it could
So, hold on now
Hold on now

When you stay awake at night
Wishing for better days
You know you gotta fight for your heart, fight for a change
It's hard to be brave when all you've known is sorrow and pain
But don't give up cause it's rising, things are gonna change
Things are gonna change

Someday the sun's gonna come out for good
Someday hope will finally take it's form
Someday love is gonna do what it should
And someday life will be all that it could
So, hold on now

Cause this life can be so short
But oh so heavy on your heart
And I'm trying to love You but I'm still holding out
I'm still holding out, holding out
I'm still holding out for more

Someday the sun's gonna come out for good
Someday hope will finally take it's form
Someday love is gonna do what it should
And someday life will be all that it could, all that it could

Someday the sun's gonna come out for good
Someday hope will finally take it's form
Someday love is gonna do what it should
And someday life will be all that it could
So, hold on now

--Heidi Hinrichs (Stelzner)

I look forward to this day, but for now I'm filled with peace, hope, and joy!

Oh Brandy!

Brandy has been an amazing apartment dog, except she somehow thinks that it is okay to get on the loveseat...she never did this at my parent's house! Here she is making herself at home...

The Apartment!!!!!

Finally...here it is!
First is my bedroom.

My books.

The kitchen.

I don't yet have a working dryer...can you tell?

Let it all out (get it all out)Rip it out, remove itDon't be alarmed when the wound begins to bleedCuz we're so scared to find out (what this life's all about)So scared we're gonna lose itAnd knowing all along that's exactly what we needAnd today I'll trust you with the confidenceof a man who's never known defeatBut tomorrow upon hearing what I did,I'll stare at you in disbeliefOh inconsistent me! ...crying out for consistencyAnd You said, "I know that this will hurt,but if I don't break your heart, things will just get worse.If the burden seems too much to bear,remember...The end will justify the pain it took to get us there."And I'll let it be known (times I have shown)Signs of all my weaknessBut somewhere in me, there is strengthAnd You'd promise me, that You believeIn time I will defeat this'cuz somewhere in me there is strengthAnd today I'll trust you with the confidenceof a man who's never known defeatI'll try my best to just forget that that man isn't meAnd You said, "I know that this will hurt,but if I don't break your heart, things will just get worse.If the burden seems too much to bear,remember...The end will justify the pain it took to get us there."Reach out to me, make my heart brand newEvery beat will be for You...for You...And you know, and you knowWhen You touched my heavy heart, you made it light.

Sometimes I say things that I wish I could take backThe most crucial thing I lackIs a thing called tactBut if you're always so intently listeningThen the smartest thing to say is to tell myself not to say a thing
Yeah, I gotta keep quiet, quietDon't let it all come undoneCause if I dare open my mouthIt'll just be to bite my tongueTo bite my tongue
It seems I'm always close minded with an open mouthAnd the worst of me seems to come right outBut I've never broken bones with a stone or a stickBut I'll conjure up a phrase that can cut to the quick
Sometimes I say things thatI wish I could take backThen the smartest thing to say is to tell myself
To keep quiet, quietDon't let it all come undoneCause if I dare open my mouthIt'll just be to bite my tongueI gotta keep quiet, quietAnd listen to your voiceBecause the power of your wordsCan restore all that I've destroyed
And when I finally doLet it come from youThe peace of understanding grips my soulCause you're the reason I'veFound meaning in this lifeSo I'll swallow up my pride and give you controlI give all to you
Yeah, I gotta keep quiet, quietDon't let it all come undoneCause if I dare open my mouthIt'll just be to bite my tongueI gotta keep quiet, quietAnd listen to your voiceBecause the power of your wordsCan restore all that I've destroyed
Yeah, I gotta keep quiet, quietDon't let it all come undoneCause if I dare open my mouthIt'll just be to bite my tongueTo bite my tongue

Bless me!

Bless me! Not because I am good, but because You are good. Bless me! Not because I deserve Your blessing, but because it is Your nature to bless. You can't really help Yourself. I appeal not to who I am. You owe me nothing. I appeal only to who You are.

Lessons learned...

1. Don't work with your best friends.
2. When you disclose sacred information about yourself and your past to others, be ready to face the consequences when they tell others and use that info against you/to judge you.
3. Be careful! Even those you think can be trusted the most may turn on you at any moment!
4. The devil is at work! "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Every day when I walk into work I remember this verse!

I love debating and discussing the tough stuff!

Lately I have been having some pretty awesome and heated debates/discussions with some people at REI about Christianity, the Bible, and ethics. I love debating and I love it more when I find someone who I can help to better understand Christianity and its beliefs. I continue to find more and more people who have so many misconceptions about Christianity...the big one being that being a Christian means being "good enough" and doing "good things" in order to get into Heaven. One particular area of concentration that a co-worker and I discussed was God's intention for us in this life. She made the comment that "God just wants us to be happy, so if I am happy being gay and in my relationship, then that is all that matters." I about fell over when she said this and asked her to tell me where in Scripture it says that "God just wants us to be happy." I tried to explain to her that first and foremost God calls us to be obedient to Him and if happiness is a by-product of our obedience then that is great. But, there are times where we must be obedient and follow His will and that does not make us "feel" happy. I have been thinking a lot about this lately...the difference between being in God's will and having a deep sense of joy, or just being happy regardless if I am in God's will. I guess the question comes down to...is my main priority to be obedient to God or to be happy? My head tells me that the right answer is to be obedient to Him and to seek His will for my life and try to follow it accordingly. But, sadly, all too often my heart/feelings/emotions tell me that I should simply strive for happiness...just live to eliminate the suffering and the pain of this life. This leads me to ask myself if I am being obedient to God and following His will regardless if it makes me happy?

Another part of the conversation that struck me was a discussion about serving the Lord. This co-worker seemed to think that because I am working at REI and Famous Daves that I am not in the Lord's will and serving Him but rather I am working at these two places for selfish reasons. She thinks that in order for me to serve the Lord I must be working at a church or for a ministry. I explained to her that I do believe the Lord has called me to both of these jobs for this period of my life and that I can serve Him anywhere. But, this got me asking myself, do I? Do I serve the Lord while working at REI and Famous Daves or am I there for selfish reasons, such as benefits, people, money, etc.? This has lead me to re-think my motive for working at both places and ask myself how I can better serve Him while at REI and Famous Daves.

Also, given the intense conversations I have been having with co-workers, a verse has been continually brought to my mind over the past few days. Matthew 10:16 reads, "I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore, be as shrewd as snakes and innocent as doves." This verse just reminds me that in every interaction and conversation I have, I need to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. There is a time and a place for everything and there are certain things that do not need to be said, which leads me into reminding myself to keep my mouth shut most of the time...LOL!