I went to the beautiful fall wedding today of my dear friend and mentor. The location was gorgeous with the leaves changing and the ceremony was so wonderfully orchestrated. You could feel God's presence in that chapel as two of His beloved children became one. This was the second wedding I have ever been to where I truly felt like I was standing in a building that was overwhelming with the presence of the Lord while knowing that I was witnessing one of the most serious, holy, and glorious events in one's life. Every part of that ceremony was done in light of God's intention for marriage and all of it was so genuine. Today the Lord was lifted up and glorified as Heidi and Jeff declared their love for one another and their duty to honor God in all they do! I wish them the best and hope to encourage them and hold them to their commitments to one another as all of us were commissioned to do.
This is the third wedding I have been to in the last month, but today's wedding really put a longing in my heart to be loved and to share in such a special and holy day with someone. But, at the same time, I am scared to death to fall in love because it is unknown to me. It is water I have never swam in before, or even gotten my feet wet in. It freaks me out to think that one day I might be walking down that isle, while probably drugged up to calm my anxious nerves. I wonder if it is even possible for me to be so at peace and so in love with someone that I could get through a wedding weekend with no anxiety. I think my fear keeps a big part of me content to be single right now knowing that I have a long way mentally and emotionally to go before I could commit to someone and something. Nevertheless, deep down inside of my soul there is a desire and longing to be adored and loved by someone that I adore and love just the same. Maybe that day will come...only the good Lord knows!
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