This is hell...

I have deeply hurt and lost the trust of someone whom I adore and care about so very much. I never intended to hurt her but somewhere along the lines I got selfish, needy, obsessive, and addicted and now she feels used! In trying to be her best friend, care about her, and show her that people can be trusted, I have actually become the worst friend ever! I must face the consequences of my thoughts and actions but I promise myself that I will walk through hell, literally, to see that this never happens again, not with her, not with anyone! I am so terribly sorry to her! She deserves so much better! I have reached the lowest time of my life and I feel all alone. God, where are you? I may have pushed You away and sinned against You, but I need You now more than I ever have before! Forgive me God!