I go back...

I guess the time has come for that infamous post: 2009 remembered. Reminiscing of the past is always bittersweet for me, bitter as I look back at the regrets and the pain, but also sweet as I look back on the growth, accomplishments, and joy of the past year. So, I ask myself, what stands out and makes this past year unlike any other?

I must begin with school. I AM FINISHED! I did what I once thought was impossible and I graducated from Seminary with a Master's degree...only by the grace of God! Also, because school was over, I entered into a period of life that I had never seen before: a season without school! And, it was A-MAZING! I have never been this less stressed and less anxious in my life! School was totally worth it, but wow, it is nice being done! I feel like I am not free to live!

Then I moved out of the 'rents house! It had been a long time coming, but in August I finally felt confident to do ti and more ready than ever! So, I took a risk and jumped into the deep end! I moved into one-bedroom apartment with my dog. If this hasn't been one of the best decisions of my life then I don't know what has been! This experience has been amazing for my healthy, spirit, body, and mind! In this little 530-square-foot apartment, I have been learning about and loving myself like I have never done before! The Lord is so good!

Then, somehow, someway, only by the grace of God, I fell into a sweet, full-time, salary job! This still puzzles me! Every time I tell people the story of where I work, what I do, and how I got my job, their jaw drops to the floor in unbelief! All I can say is: God. I didn't do a thing but walk up to a wealthy man in a fancy bar and ask if his company was hiring. Next thing I knew I was getting a tour of SRM. Then I was part-time, hourly. Now I'm full-time, salary. Crazy! I don't deserve this!

Then comes the sad part of my year: the loss of a real good friend. It hurt, it still hurts, and it will hurt for a long time. I'm not one to invest so much into my best friends and care so deeply for them to then loose them forever. However, for the past 6 months, it has been necessary to lose her. I do recognize that and I am thankful for the opportunity she gave me to get healthy. I made a lot of mistakes and have so many regrets, but someday I hope I will again have the chance to call her a good friend. I trust that the Lord is in control...may His will be done!
(I also must say that although this situation has been hellish for me, some really good things have come from it. In an effort to get balance into my life, I went on a search for healthy friends, for Christian community in Colorado Springs. And, wow, I have found it in abundance! I am definetly not lacking in communities between REI, SRM, WMBA, Bible study, YoungLife, and WVC! I've got some really wonderful people in my life!)

"To love is to run the risk of suffering. Or rather, in our world, to love is to suffer; there's no escaping it. Augustine knew it well; so Augustine recommended playing it safe, loving only what could neither die nor change on one--God and the soul. My whole tradition has taught me to love the world, to love the world as a gift, to love God through and in the world. It has set me up for suffering. But it didn't tell me this: it didn't tell me that the invitation to love is the invitation to suffering. It has let me find that our for myself. Possibly it's the best way." -NW
--May I never stop loving, even through the pain and hurts of this world!


Lastly, somewhere in between losing a good friend, moving out, and landing a sweet job, I fell in love with mountain biking and I found a community to share my passion and challenge me. It is the WMBA: Women's Mountain Biking Association (of COS). I admit that I was skeptical at first because I really had no idea what kind of girls an organization like this would attract, but low and behold, they are just like me! (Is that good or bad...???) They are athletic, passionate, driven, funny, normal (relatively speaking), and fun chicks! Most are in their 20s and 30s, married, and teach at local schools. Some even has kids, which impresses me because biking is NOT easy!

A sneak preview at 2010:
-Volunteering with YoungLife
-Racing for WMBA
-SRM
-Getting more involved at WVC
-No more REI...not sure when this will happen, but sooner than later